I told her that I never detected a smell on her friend's husband at all and that I have many older friends and NONE of them have a stronger or odd odor. Sheesh! Frankly, I think that friend of the friend might have an olfactory disorder. I think younger folks who exercise and don't shower have a MUCH stronger smell!
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| Tiffany and her grandmother |
"WHAT??!?!" My head snapped up from my cereal bowl. "Tiffany would NEVER in a million years say something like that to you! Neither of my children would!"
"No, she did. I remember," insisted mom.
Later in the morning, Tif Skyped me and I asked her if she told her grandmother that she stunk. Tif was floored!
"Of course not," said a very affronted Tiffany. Then she gave it some thought and remembered something. "I brought grandma some sachet for her clothes drawer last year. I saw that she was using moth balls because she liked the smell on her clothes. I told her the moth balls made her clothes stink and most people don't like it." (Did I mention that Tif has the memory of an elephant? She remembers everything.)
This is what it's like at our house. There is a rather interesting language gulf and it takes patience and understanding to bridge it. We always keep in mind that nobody would say anything to hurt anyone so that's off the table.
Art and mom understand maybe 70% of what the other person is saying. Art knows a smattering of Japanese words. Mom understands more English than you would think, BUT it's not always quite accurate. Even when they think they're understanding each other, I know they're not...really. I'm often having to translate to clarify and it's given us some great laughs since we've moved back to Hawaii because Art makes it a point to have conversations with mom every chance he gets. This is why she loves him so much!
It makes me think of world politics and the understanding it takes to have peace. I can easily see why it's so difficult with all the nuances of languages and customs. They must often think the other country stinks.
LOL! That is so true. Since we live in a place with so many different cultures, it is sometimes so difficult to explain the nuances of own own language and customs. Over here we think the indigenous people "stink", and they think "we" do. It´s really funny.
ReplyDeleteBut I do think that older people start to smell differently. I´m not sure if it´s because they don´t or can´t be a cleanly as they were or if it is the changing hormones of the body.
Kay, I love your stories!
ReplyDeleteI can identify with this. My late mom and dad had hearing issues. Dad, we found out, had 80% hearing loss in one ear, 70 in the other? - I forget...
Mom was the same. She'd refuse to allow me to go with her to dr's appointments. She didn't hear the name of the cancer she had, called it leukoplatia, when it was leukoplakia. The lessons I have learned....
As we get older, our sense of smell diminishes, which concerns me sometimes. I can smell some things really well, but I must say I don't think I've ever told anybody that they stink, unless it was a kid who needed a bath really bad! This is a funny story about what we think we hear, or don't hear... :-)
ReplyDeletethat's funny... my mom lost her sense of smell a couple years ago when she had a head injury. But now she will occasionally come into a room and say, "oooo, something stinks!"
ReplyDeleteThen I say, "but you can't smell.." She says, "well, I can tell when something is off."
Ha.
Now I remember my mom in a rest home used to ask me if she smelled...she didn't. We have to keep our sense of humor and not take things personally! lol...
ReplyDelete"...It makes me think of world politics and the understanding it takes to have peace. I can easily see why it's so difficult with all the nuances of languages and customs. They must often think the other country stinks. ..."
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. My country ha so many languages, dialects, customs, religions, that we make an effort to live peacefully in a mixture of all.
What doesnt help, is "acceptable smells " defined by an arbitrary entity, and an effort to homogenize the smells everywhere. Like I have always wondered why one needs to have a house smelling of jasmine and roses, sprayed through a can, when you have just cooked a spicy curry yum dinner that you can smell in the doorway ....
Lovely post, and please convey my great regards to your Mom !
Your mother is so philosophical, bless her:-)
ReplyDeleteyou made me laugh and I'm still smiling,,thank you for that,
ReplyDeleteyeah, but when all is said and done, why in the world would your mother love the odor of MOTH BALLS on her clothes????? Ew!
ReplyDeleteIt was good that Tiffany could clear that up. You are so right about different languages and customs being a barrier in world politics.
ReplyDeletegood point you're making Kay, about understanding each other!
ReplyDeleteI was talking to a jewerly maker yesterday at the art fair who did definately stink. But then there is a lot of counter culture up there on the island ( think hippie)and they often don't care if they stink. I didn't tell her. Her jewelry was lovely but I didn't buy any. Was it the essence?
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh at your perfect punch line ending. and yes, I have often had to translate and straighten out a conversation, when both parties were speaking English!
Kay, you have such a wonderful family!
ReplyDelete— K
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel
Gigi: I've told her the smell stinks too. She says that in Japan, people used mothballs to store their kimonos and that the mothballs are made of tree chemicals. I have a feeling the Japanese mothballs (at least what they used in the past) is probably different from ours). Anyway, she likes the smell. I think this is another case of some smell from the past that gave her pleasant memories of her childhood.
ReplyDeleteKay, that is so incredible.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your family stories!
ReplyDeleteThis post really made me smile. I understand the communication gap here. In my house, we have these gaps all the time between my husband and myself. We both speak only English, so explain that one.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever get the comment Tif made to your mother explained to your mother?
That is so true Kay..I'd like to think that more woman in charge as better listeners would help too..
ReplyDeleteOh that's just too funny!
ReplyDeleteSally: Yes, oh yes! I told mom and she laughed. She KNOWS she often misconstrues what people say to her in English.
ReplyDeleteI cannot smell very well due to a nasty infection in the sinus long ago. I only smell dirty things.
ReplyDeleteLanguages can be very confusing. I have the same problem with English and Dutch. The best thing is to keep it simple. And those two languages are more or less related, but
Japanese and English have nothing in common. So it must be very difficult sometimes for your mum to understand the true meaning of what your daughter says.
Body odors are real but seldom smelt and most are masked in even stronger scents made from chemicals to smell like flowers or something.
ReplyDeleteMy 11 year old granddaughter says so-and-so has an "old people smell."
Since Patty and I are older than 50, which is her cut off date for being old, I take it we smell or are smelled the most since she lives here with us nowadays, but she says not.
Whatever an old people smell smells like is interesting to ponder. I have heard us both called, "old farts" by our children, from time to time, but think it says more about our age than how we smell.
LOL
Interesting post.
Tiffany did well.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, here in the village a few women get on the bus five minutes after their shower; their smell of deodorant or perfume or whatever is so overpowering that I have to open the window or change my seat.
"It stinketh" is one of my favorite phrases from the King James translation of the Bible.
I also like your stories, they are so interesting. It is nice to hear what goes on in other homes. I use to use moth balls to store things but not any more, they it takes a long time to get that smell out of your clothes. My sister use to throw a whole box of moth balls under her crawl space under the house and until she had a new floor installed and the smell finally left. Hope you week is a good one.
ReplyDeleteYour family works so well because you are great communicators who take the time and trouble to really understand what people really mean.
ReplyDeleteLove this story, Kay! It reminds me how often what we say gets misunderstood by the person hearing it.
ReplyDelete