Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tiffany is an excellent mother. Granted, sometimes I felt she was too soft with KC. Tif says KC tends to be stubborn at times (Tif says she comes by that naturally) so she has found the best way to deal with it is to give her choices. Instead of saying, "Wear your shoes," (before leaving the house)she'll say, "Would you like to wear your blue shoes or your yellow ones?" It's good to empower your child, but sometimes I think your child needs to know you're the grown-up and has to follow your directions. However, Tif is the mother and she knows her child best.
That's why it surprised me that she was upset the other day because a friend has been constantly telling her that she is too strict with KC. True, Tif has rules, but they're definitely appropriate from all I've seen. She is firm about the rules, but clear and loving. KC knows the rules but whenever this friend comes to visit with her child, Tif has to later undo all that KC has picked up from this other child. KC has asked, Why does she get to do this and I can't?"
It's quite a dilemma.
I've been to restaurants and seen children running amok. I've seen children climb up furniture and grab at things in another person's house with parents who merely ignored it because, "Kids will be kids."
Tif says she stopped KC from rolling around the floor (during a class) and pulling up her dress hem over her head. Her friend saw this and told her that 3 1/2 year old KC is just a baby so she should chill out.
When Tif and Jon were kids, they were taught how to behave in public. If they misbehaved we discretely escorted them to a private area and read them the riot act. I remember a lot of people coming by our table and telling us how well they behaved in restaurants. They did, but they had to be taught until it became second nature.
Has parenting changed in the last 30 years? Well, I'm glad Tif is sticking to her guns (I mean rules) because it teaches KC how to be more agreeable and likable. I really do believe that children need to be taught. But then again, I suppose, once a teacher, always a teacher.