I was just wondering what I should write about and then my mom mentioned that she had not received a thank you card for a rather sizable monetary gift she gave. She had been happy to give the gift which was rather large considering how small her social security is... which brings me to this post.
As a first grade teacher, aside from teaching children the importance of global understanding and friendship, I did teach each and every child to write a thank you letter. Anytime a speaker came to our classroom, they got a thank you letter. Anytime we went on a field trip, the class wrote thank you letters to the parent volunteers. The lesson for my class was they needed to always show their appreciation for whatever someone did for them. Besides, I warned them...if you don't show your appreciation, that person might think you don't care and won't give you anything the next time, not that that's the reason for writing the note, mind you.
My own children were always encouraged to write notes from the time they were little. My daughter went one step better and even makes her own cards with photos in them. My son, well, I love him dearly but it takes him a little longer to get his done. But he does (even if I have to prod him sometimes)! And he does them beautifully!
I remember one person that we gave a wedding gift to who did not respond in several months. I asked his mom if he'd gotten it. She asked her son and he told her that he had a year to send it. We did receive a card from him in another couple of months that only read, "Thank you for our wedding gift." I was a tad bit flabbergasted, especially since his mom is an incredible writer. I asked my daughter about that and she said that sadly she's had some thank yous like that from her generation.
Well, I don't know about you but I really appreciate a nice thank you note any day, and if not a snail mail note, at least an e-mail.
I taught my classes the same thing and, of course, my children. Some are better about it than others, but an appropriate message does get out. I think we could all use a little extra appreciation in our lives these days. Thanks for your post, they're always a pleasure to read!
ReplyDeleteFunny you should post about this Kay, as I have introduced the sending of thank you notes to all our supporters of the school. I think it's very important.
ReplyDeleteI, too, believe in the importance of a nicely written thank-you note, sent in a timely fashion. I've known of brides/grooms who've sent NO thank-you notes for their wedding gifts. How inconsiderate is that?! Has our society become so drowned in gifts that it now thinks no thank you is necessary? And I really dislike the "thank you for the gift" notes. I guess they're better than no note at all, but they show total lack of manners. Grrrr. You got my blood pressure up on this post, Kay!
ReplyDeleteI agree and it bugs me that none of our children ever thank us for Christmas money sent to their family or birthday money and cards, etc. Only my new dg-in=law has been prompt in thank yous for wedding gifts. As a child I always wrote my relatives out of state and said thanks for whatever they sent on any occasion. A lost art, respect and gratitude.
ReplyDeleteNothing to disagree with, here. My mother was a prolific writer of notes. Not just to say Thank You, but to offer encouragement, share a cartoon, a newspaper article, a little advice, wish a Happy Anniversary, congratulations on your new car...whatever came to her mind. I'm not at all like her.
ReplyDeleteAt least half of our thank you notes for wedding gifts were thrown in the trash by the custodian at the office I worked in. I have no idea who did or didn't recieve them. I've always felt so, so bad about those who may have thought that they weren't written.
The written note is a powerful thing!!!
I don't like the little thank you scrolls tied in ribbon that are passed out at wedding receptions. Now lazy and non personal is that?
I think it's a generational thing - and perhaps something that younger people learn to appreciate more as they get older and start sending gifts themselves. When my boys were younger they wrote thank you letters every birthday and Christmas, but now they prefer to telephone to say thank you, which is better than nothing. I can't settle after birthdays or Christmas until I've got my thank you letters written - easier now than when I was teaching and had so many letters to write.
ReplyDeleteAh, I do miss snail mail with real paper and ink. sigh...
ReplyDeleteIn this day of text messages and email regular letters are becoming a lost art. When I begin going over letter writing with my 6th graders some of them don't even know where the stamp goes.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post and something I've always felt very strongly about. I was taught as a child to write thank-you notes and raised my children the same way. I guess emails make it much easier for people now, but it's just not the same. Better than nothing...but not the same.
ReplyDeleteI sure know how you felt about that wedding gift. I recently returned from France and sent a nice box of chocolates to somebody via snail mail....as of yet, I have no clue if they got it or not! No thank-you note, no email. It's sure a different world now!
Terri
http://www.islandwriter.net
I was brought up to write thank you notes in a timely fashion. My three children all learned to do the same, Ashton even has made her own. I must admit that I have had to "prod" on occasion. I have had shower/wedding gifts never acknowledged and I agree with Jean. Do we just "expect" the gifts?? And I agree, the rolled-up "thank you's" from a wedding is tacky!
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing is that this "generation" is most likely OUR offspring!!! I have taught the importance of thank you notes also. It is so nice that as a teacher, you stressed the importance of thank you notes. Kids can never get too much good advice and gratitude is a must!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. My daughter sends thank you notes..I think it is a lovely thing to do and most people don't do it anymore
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post Kay. I think children are not taught to say thank you anymore in this way. I love the idea you got your children to write thank you letters. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI have started letter writing again. I got so used to emails I had forgotten how to hand write. So I went onto Etsy and bought some beautiful note paper and am writing letters again. I think we just need to get back to the basics again and there is nothing more basic then please and thank you. Great post and great reminder.
Hi Kay, I just found you from your comment on Sherri's Reading Jubilee. Hawaii, eh? I probably would never travel if I lived there. Ever run into Sawyer? :<) I saw the Margaret and Helen blog on your list. Boy, aren't they something! I'll be back to wander around.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree with you. I've received thankyou notes after months, and tossed them with "too little, too late". Do it promptly or forget it. I've received family birth announcements three months after the birth. Like we didn't know by then.
ReplyDeleteIt just isn't that hard, but in my kids' generation, it seems to be a lost art.
Kay, I think thanking someone in a note is what everyone should do. People are to quick today to forget to hand write something. Both my daughters had their thank you notes out for their wedding gifts within 2 weeks. They also wrote lovely notes about what the person gave them and how special it will be in their new lives. More people should send them!
ReplyDeleteNice post !
ReplyDelete