We were at Sam's Club today and I heard the check out fellow tell the person in front of me that she really could have gotten another bag of pretzels free with the price of one. He asked her if she'd like to go get another bag. She decided to return the bag and come back again another time to get the two bags.
When it was my turn I told him that I thought he was very good at his job and that people appreciate the sort of help he gave. He said he tries his best and gave a warm smile.
As we were eating dinner this evening, out of the blue my mom says, "I noticed you are good at giving nice compliments." I was puzzled and she reminded me of the Sam's Club conversation. "You made that boy very happy and he will probably go home feeling very good."
Mind you, though I like to let people know I appreciate what they're doing, I have also let them know my displeasure. It was also at Sam's Club at their photo center where I was trying to figure out how to upload my photos to a certain size that the young girl at the counter actually rolled her eyes when I came back for further clarification. I stewed about it and when the photos were developed I told her, "I would like to give you a bit of advice. When you rolled your eyes the way you did earlier, you made me feel badly and it really angered me. I would be careful because not everybody would just let you know this as I have." She was all a flutter and told me that she was not rolling her eyes about me but something else all together after which she could not have been nicer.
At another place on another day, Home Depot this time...my husband and I waited 45 minutes for somebody to show up in the window decor area so we could place a rather large order. When she finally showed up, her attitude was brusque because we may have cut short her time with her boyfriend who followed her in. As nice as we tried to be, she was not rude, but decidedly unfriendly. I ended up using my "teacher voice." I know you teachers out there know what I mean. This changed her attitude and she was much better.
But by golly! Why did I need to do that? On the other hand, aside from these two young girls, everybody else we've ever had contact with in the island shops and stores have been just as wonderful and friendly as could be. I guess it's in comparison to all the other beautiful people we see that these two girls stood out as being inconsistent with the aloha spirit which I've come to expect.
I guess it's rather nice that we're living where we expect this.
Kay, when I purchased my new camera recently, I called several different stores to see if they had the particular model I wanted in stock. I finally found my camera at a Best Buy store and the sales associate I spoke with told me that they only had two cameras left in stock. When I told her that I couldn't come in until the next day she told me "No problem! I'll set one aside for you." She didn't even ask for a credit card number - she trusted me to show up the next day. What a refreshing experience! Do you think I'll continue to shop at that particular Best Buy store? You bet I will!
ReplyDeleteI do think it's got something to do with their training program also. In Chicago I remember that we used to like going to the Dominicks grocery store because all the salespeople were courteous and extra friendly. By contrast, the Jewel store was known for having disgruntled employees. Whenever I could, I went to the Dominicks.
ReplyDeleteKay, You are a right girl !
ReplyDeleteSee You later !
Good for you. You politely told these employees that they were not representing their employers well. I would also probably have done the same thing. Maybe it's the teacher thing!
ReplyDeleteI recently complimented a Michae's craft store employee for being a pleasure to do business with. I told her she'd made eye contact, smiled, and said thank-you to me, all gestures that seem to be going out of style with many store clerks. A few years ago I gave some "instruction" to a boy working the gas pumps where I had my car filled. He didn't speak to me, didn't say thank you after my purchase, etc. I pointed out to him, in what I hope was a friendly way, that he needs to extend these simple gestures of kindness to his customers. He looked dumbfounded. Now if only we could get store clerks off their cell phones so they'll wait on us! We need more of the Aloha! spirit in Maine, for sure.
ReplyDeleteYou're just a sweetheart and I'm sure your compliments touch those you come into contact with. I like the teacher voice part...I could almost hear it haha.
ReplyDeleteIt's so much easier to be a helpful salesperson/waitress/clerk, etc when you have a p leasant customer to service. I'm sure you'll be rememebered and appreciated in all of these instances. Expecting the best from someone... and helping them know how to achieve it is a great kindness.
ReplyDeleteYou're quiter a gal, Kay!!
quiter a gal??? What the heck is that supposed to mean? It's SUPPOSED to say...
ReplyDeleteQUITE a gal, Kay!! And you are!
Great post! I always try to compliment people who are helpful because they do make a difference, but so often it seems these days that the attitude is "I'm here for a paycheck, don't push me". I think that's a kind of sad commentary on our world today, but thank goodness for those who have a better attitude and they should be complimented.
ReplyDeleteAloha spirit--I love it!
ReplyDeleteGood educator you are, Kay.
I laughed to hear about using your 'teacher voice'! I was a librarian so I know it well...and it DOES work!
ReplyDeleteCompliments make such a difference some days. Thanks for sharing this story.
I clearly heard your teacher voice. I think it comes from an attitude that certain behaviors are acceptable and others are not.
ReplyDeleteEven retired, you're still teaching others, and often it's the compliments that are overlooked. Keep it up and Oahu will be an even nicer place.
Kay, I agree with your Mom about you always giving nice compliments! That was really nice of your Mom to tell you that. Sorry about the rude girl at Home Depot.
ReplyDeleteKay, what you said to the young lady about rolling her eyes was perfect. You stood up for yourself and didn't let her get away with her rudeness, good for you! At the same time, you didn't blow up at her or do anything rude back, that was very nice of you.
ReplyDeleteCan you please teach me that teacher voice, I could use that right now!
As far as the young man at Sam's, one little nice statement can go a long way. I'm sure he appreciated it.
I think its great that you spoke up and I agree with others, you did it in a well-meaning, thoughtful approach. Sometimes a "gentle reminder" may be all it takes to change someone's attitude, or at least give them food for thought.
ReplyDeletehi, it's interesting how we try to be positive and not get irritated at others but sometimes need to speak up for ourselves just to value ourselves. i have this strange situation everytime we visit my stepdaughters and their children, they say grandpa's here....and there i stand invisible...without a title although officially it is stepgrandma but the kids don't really understand that and their official grandma, my husband's ex died last year. I want to say and here I am the step grandma but i say nothing just smile and try not to look too invisible...life isn't easy.
ReplyDeleteI believe being up front with your discomfort is a lovely characteristic, and a kindly explanation was a considerate way to teach no matter what the situation. I was a teacher too, and on occasion had to resort to using, 'the voice'.
ReplyDeleteGood blog today! Did you see the Pearls Before Swine?
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I did see the Pearls Before Swine cartoon strip in the sunday newspaper and had a nice laugh.
ReplyDeleteHi, musingsfromkay,
ReplyDeleteI saw your comment on M & H and came to check out your blog. I dated a fellow (about ten years ago) who worked for the EPA but quit when Christine Todd Whitman was appointed head.
Hopefully Bobby Kennedy Jr. will get the job from Barack.
Love your blog. Makes me look forward even more to finishing my degree and moving to warmer climes and getting away from the landlocked midwest.
Cheers!
Excellent post, Kay. I do the same kinds of things, so I can identify with what you wrote. The behavior of employees toward customers greatly impacts our impressions of stores and other businesses -- both positive and negative. Like you, I believe in complimenting people for a job well done, but also letting them know when they have done a disservice to their employer through rudeness or impatience.
ReplyDeleteI am with you! I think it's important to say kind things. I am learning it's as important to address unkind things. Some folks don't even hear themselves!
ReplyDeleteI try to say a nice word when someone is trying to do their job well...
ReplyDeleteLoved your post today! I need to remember to be more complimentary!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good post, I love it! Your mom is right, you have a special way of giving people nice compliments and making them feel good. You are the reason I am still on blogger - remember when I whined and cried and blithered like a a baby about my frustrations with bloging, you reached out to me.
ReplyDeleteI do so love the warmth and sincerity I feel conversing with you here in cyberspace.