Some 35 years ago my husband took me to the Officers Club in Hawaii. When we sat down to dinner with all his friends I looked around and was shocked to my bones to see that we seemed to be the only minorities there. I wasn't frightened. Everybody was as nice as could be and tried to make me feel comfortable. But I couldn't shake this terrible feeling. My "date" seemed oblivious to my discomfort. I decided then and there that I would not go out with him again because I just couldn't cope with this feeling of strangeness. In Hawaii, I was used to feeling like I was in the majority. The "majority" being a mixture of Japanese, Chinese, Filipinos, Koreans, Portuguese, Hawaiians, etc. Needless to say, there was a second date and then our move to Illinois where I would learn and grow more than I ever thought I would.
Today, I went to our "village" once-a-month luncheon. We take turns having lunch at someone's house. We bring either a salad or dessert and somehow without any planning, it works out and we get a lovely assortment of dishes. The host provides beverages, china and silverware. As I sat with these very wonderful women trading ideas, advice, laughter, I realized I was once again the minority. Somehow, I must have grown up because I felt nothing but friendship. How very wonderful! This is not to say I haven't felt the sting of prejudice occasionally down the years but there are so many more beautiful, kind and loving people out there, everywhere. It's certainly fun to find them.
Friday, May 16, 2008
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You are a natural at making friends. You make people feel so at ease. I feel as I have met you, have known you for ever, and possibly grew up with you.
ReplyDeleteI do so hope that our society has grown up over the last 35 years as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dellgirl. I love having you and everybody as friends.
ReplyDeleteGosh, Amanda... I do hope the whole world grows up, too. I have a very dear anthropologist prof friend. When I asked him if he thought it would ever happen, he replied that sadly he didn't think so. Still, for all our children's sake, I can only hope.
interesting blog, i too experiences being a minority in hawaii because i am caucasian...it was strange although there are many tourists as we got out of town to smaller areas we felt different...but it was very friendly. although i hear there is prejudice among the islanders like tahiti and fiji, etc. that's sad...we are all children of the same God.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Lin.... When I was attending the University of Hawaii many, many years ago some Caucasian friends in my dorm mentioned prejudice toward them and I could not believe it. Not in the islands. Everybody there is usually very nice and accepting... I thought. It wasn't until I got here that I felt that horrible feeling of having prejudice leveled against me...even in subtle ways.
ReplyDeleteI lived among the Japanese for three years (1953 -1956) and never felt like a minority even though I am white and blue eyed. I felt like I was just me. I never look around to see who is here or there or am I the only one in the place. I don't know why but that is the way i am.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with your anthropologist friend!-I believe the world is steadily maturing and evolving socially--- wonderful community pot-luck idea!
ReplyDeleteI understand what you say and felt ... I'm portuguese and a caucasian with dark hair and skin tanned bu sun because I love beach ...
ReplyDeleteOnce at the French airport of Orly I was sent by a nice policemen to a line where they were putting all passengers arriving from countries of Northern Africa and Middle East ... when I showed him my identification it was just sorry this, sorry that ...
I read about your granddaughter ... I have twins (now with 14) and they had the same problem ... we had to put them for speakinh therapy, but all came out well.
Thank you, quinttarantino. That is very reassuring about the speech therapy. Our pediatrician said if she doesn't start in a few months we would have her begin some therapy. I'm glad the policeman was nice. Thank goodness. Thank you so much visiting.
ReplyDeleteActually, Abraham Lincoln, I went on a college tour to Japan 37 years ago and the Caucasian members of our group loved it. They were treated like movie stars.
I remember one incident in particular several years ago when some young person yelled a racial epithet at us while we were in a parking lot. I was stunned. The feeling was hot/cold/sick to my stomach. When I got to school(where I worked) I told a group of African American teachers what happened over the weekend. They suddenly all gave me a group hug and said, "Now you understand. You're a sister now." It was eye opening.